I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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