i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
