Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
