dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
