Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
