just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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