it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
