hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
