there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
