You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
