never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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