sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
