My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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