I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
