it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
