1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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