she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The best revenge is premature balding
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
