I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
