I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
