the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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