Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
