i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She announced her abortion via fbk
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
