He had one of those small greek statue penises
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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