I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Randomize
