Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
