I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
