i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we're so committed to being not committed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
