We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
