if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
