o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
