so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
