I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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