She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
