Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So much rum. So many feels.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize