Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
