What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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