Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
