So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
