Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize