I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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