you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
