So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
