I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
