hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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