Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
