I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
