I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Someone shattered a urinal.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
