Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just had sex on a roof
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
