Nicole vs. Life
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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