Sponge bath it is.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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