The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Boobs are out for the taking
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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