Someone shit on the floor
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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